You Have To Eat
by choyaheart-deactivated
Summary: Regina lands in a new world, a friendlier world...However, it seems she didn't do her research. How can she learn to cooperate with a species made completely out of her only source of food? Rated teen for the inclusion of Regina's past and some terrifying crummy junctures. This OC is mine and is not native to any universe, so step off.
1. Chapter 1: First Impressions Are Hard

**Disclaimer: No.**

As I fell from the gate onto what felt like a beach, I had never felt more in control. Tumbling cutely onto the soft, yellow sand, I smiled to myself. I didn't see anything else to do, so I pulled out a roast beef sandwich-tasting agate and began to eat it with my large, hard, sharp teeth. As I crunched, I started building a snail out of sand, in a carefree manner. I was just finishing up when I heard the sound of a ukulele being strummed in a perfect chord. Of course, I didn't know which chord. I never really learned music.

A high, slightly lilting voice accompanied it. I will not be writing the lyrics here because I am not stupid. I started eating my sand snail (sprinkle-flavored, if you must know), and the singing stopped.

Crumch smack nom snarf ulp nom cronch cronch cronch. Hulp narf spack smack crumch cronch crunch.

I'm not a very clean eater. I heard footsteps behind me, approaching slowly and warily. I smelled…was that pink diamond? It certainly smelled like that. Quite a large amount too. My mouth started tarring. Which is the same as watering, except that my spit is basically tar.

"Hey, are you alright?" The voice belongs to a short, stocky, curly-haired boy who must be using pink diamond perfume because hoo boy is that starting to get heady. He's wearing a pink shirt with his universe's code on it: a blunted star. So this is the most important thing in this universe, huh? Interesting.

I looked up, sand and agate crusted around my face, and pulled out another snack from my sylladex. It was an amethyst. In retrospect, I should have just waited. As I lifted the crystal to my mouth and bit into it, the boy looked at me with a 'what in hell did you just do, you crazy POS' look. I swallowed and said,

"Hi. I'm Regina." To my surprise, the kid just started running away from me, crying hard. The smell of pink diamond retreated. I looked at the rock in my hand, shrugged, and ate the rest of it. Again, eating food in front of this small boy was not the best idea, apparently.

I regretted my poor decision even more when he arrived one minute later accompanied by several warrior women and one warrior girl.

I froze. Like a demon deer in headlights.

_THE SMELLS! _Oh my god, there were so many. It was like putting your weak human nose in front of a giant essential oil diffuser. Speaking of noses, I suppose I should pause and explain mine.

It looks like a 'regular' human nose, quite large maybe, tinted black with what would look like pores or freckles all over. It has no giant holes on the bottom, instead applying those freckles to act as tiny, narrow-but-deep nostrils. Do not touch it.

Anyways, the smells. I could smell the subtle tomato of garnet, swirled through by pepper and blueberries, like a fusion of the three scents. The tall, thin, birdlike woman had silica poison all over her, the only rock I couldn't eat. And, of course, the fruity grapes and candies smell of amethyst. The heady, sweet, sugary diamond smell was coming from the stomach area of the boy.

Safe to say, they were all lucky I wasn't hungry, or there would be quite a crummy juncture.

They were also all carrying various deadly weapons. Before I could say, do, or explain anything, a whip lashed out toward me, covered with purple sharp bits. Before I knew it, I was trussed up like a damn turkey. I started crying, naturally.

Of course, this was not all done in silence. I can only figure out what a language means if I'm listening. If I'm not listening, then it's just gibberish. Lots of yelling and battle cries were going on, including my own high-pitched screams.

Anyways, when all was said and done, a very tall and curvy woman with high levels of pigment in her skin menacingly walked over to me. I was scared and blushing at the same time. The smell of tomatoes, blueberries and peppers was coming off of her as her giant boxing gloves disappeared in a brief flash of photons.

She picked up the me-burrito and set me on my feet. I attempted to protest, but I was prevented from doing so by the woman's own interrogation.

"Who are you and why are you here? Why were you eating a Gem?"

Liquid continued to leak from my eyes. I felt like shit.

"I-I'm Regina! I eat crystals to survive!" I was immediately put down. I was suddenly pissed, so I bared my teeth (all of them) and hissed in a very stress-reducing manner. Everyone flinched. I threw all of my food on the ground and ran, gaining speed as I went.

God, I was really running a lot these days, huh?

(You said it. Want a boost?) Nah, there are people around. I already look stupid enough as it is.

(Speaking of stupid, why did you throw all of our food on the ground? Now we have no food, and in an hour you will regret that.) This looks like a tourist trap, maybe there will be a gift shop?

(With crystals of reasonable quality? Please, girl. No way I'm eating that.)

You're dead. You don't eat things.

(Oh yeah.)

I was startled out of my patron conversation by the same kid yelling, "Hey! We're sorry! Come back, please?"

I was suddenly extremely angry. I stomped my foot and shouted, "**NO WAY!"** I turned tail (literally) and pounded down the boardwalk. Past some various human food areas that I didn't give a damn about, I found an open store that proudly bore the name of 'GIFT SHOP'. I captcha'd a bunch of souvenir crystals and paid for one. I then rushed out with my new food, almost tripping over Onion.

Of course I know about Onion. That kid's a universal constant, not unlike magic and trees. Nice kid. A little scary, but nice. He waved. I waved. Di Regina Dracones waved.

As I sat on a bench, enjoying my crap, I pondered what exactly to do next.


	2. Chapter 2: But Often You Can Start Over

**Disclaimer: If I coulda I woulda.**

It was getting rather late, and as I had exhausted my supplies of food, I decided to walk around and check out this place. It appeared to be your standard human tourist trap boardwalk, complete with rides and bad food. Bad human food, I must specify. Mostly fries and whatever 'tater tots' were. Anyways, I decided to fall into my usual favorite pastime:

Social interaction. Not.

As usual, I didn't need to work hard, as I had forgotten to hide my tail. Damn dragon ancestry, messing crap up all of the time. Di Regina Dracones laughed. That four billion-year old fucker. Anyways, a tall douchenozzle with short, curly blond dreadlocks (emphasize the dread) stumbled over to my bench (_my bench!_) holding a laptop computer. Before he even opened his mouth, I knew what would come out next.

He did a fake salute seen in a live-action show, and said, "Hello, alien person! I am Ronaldo, and I would like your interview!" I opened my mouth to say no, but he pulled the "Pleeeeeeeeeaase?" on me with the stupid mammal baby eyes! God I'm weak.

_Steven's POV_

I was pacing around the downstairs of my house. Pearl and Garnet were gone trying to figure out more about every alien species they could that fit the criteria of 'eating crystals', Connie was at school, and Amethyst, Lapis, and Peridot were out looking for her, although there was the chance that they weren't really trying to.

I felt really crummy about how our first impression went. All of my problems seemed to stem from misinformation and miscommunication, and honestly? She had just been minding her own business! It wasn't her fault that the only thing she happened to be able to eat was the same thing that kept me and my family alive, just some bad circumstance. I picked up my phone, and as I was getting ready to call Pearl a notification from Ronaldo chimed. Oh no. What had he done?

Hoping beyond hope that nobody was injured, I pressed on the link to his latest interview.

_**BREAKING NEWS!**_

A brand-new alien species has been introduced to Beach City! What follows is an exclusive interview with not one, but two of them! These 'dreople', or dragon people, as I have christened them, may finally be the solution to the rock people's massive empire (Stay tuned for more on that.)! Please note that one of them has been dead for more than an eon, and her speech is only available through the younger.

Me: So, tell me your name and age, as well as your species! (I thought that I was being very polite, but she^2 seemed to think otherwise.)

Interviewee: Regina. Fourteen solar years. Oh, and she's Di Regina Dracones, approximately four billion, give or take. I'll type in her comments after we're done. (Here she gave a very mysterious smile, showing only the lips.)

DRD: Amazingly, my patronee is keeping her head. I never knew this was possible.

Me: And your species?

Regina: Crystal Eater. To put it short, I eat crystals, nothing else.

DRD: Dragon. Just kind of a dragon. It's that simple.

Me: Can you explain why you are suddenly here?

Regina: Portals of a magical nature. Oh, and Star Kid, if you're reading this, just know that you are this place's founding aspect, as well as the bearer of its symbol. (I have no idea who Star Kid is.)

Me: What. (I am very suspicious that she may be leading an empire, as well! I must clear my home of crystals, otherwise they could be watching!)

Me: Do you have any plans for our world that would involve destruction?

Regina(She looked insulted): Come on, really? I'm basically exactly like a human but with sharp teeth and undying, insatiable hunger for crystalline minerals. I would never destroy a world.

DRD: Really, what do you take us for?

Regina: You've been xenophobic and very insulting this entire interview, and personally I don't feel comfortable talking with you anymore. Bye.

(She grabbed my laptop and typed a bunch, then walked towards Steven's house. Steven, if you're reading this—Beware the dreople!)

I facepalmed and set my phone down. I plopped on my bed, ready for some video games, but my efforts were interrupted by a knock on the door.

Regina's POV

I sprinted to Star Kid's house, intending to explain and make good on my mistakes, kicking up sand all the way. "Staaaaaaaarrrr Kiiiiiiid! Your friends are mean!" I yelled, tears bubbling on my cheeks like a transfemme goddess. I rapped on the door, and was answered by a slightly tired-looking Star Kid. He invited me in, still smelling of pink diamond. That perfume couldn't have been cheap, either, for it lacked the alcoholic smell of esters commonly used in such perfumes.

"Listen, I'm sorry for before. I wish we could start over." He sighed, letting out another sweet puff of pink diamond. I coughed.

"Of course(cough) we ca(cough)n star(cough hack cough)t over-(cough hack cough hack)" I doubled over, unable to get away from the choking scent. I put my hair over my mouth and moved inside the house.

"A-are you okay?" He asked, real concern in his voice. I hacked, black mucus flying.

"I'm fine, I just think that I'm allergic to your perfume. Ugh. Ew." The kid looked at me, confused, and said, "I'm not wearing any perfume."

"Some kind of human essential oils then? Whatever it is, you've got a lot of pink diamond smell around you." He blanched slightly and asked, "P-pink diamond?"

I narrowed my eyes in confusion and said, "Yeah, pink diamond. I know crystals here are expensive. Did you steal one?" Regina Noctis, Ace Attorney. I flicked my tail in his direction, tailese for "Huh? Did you? Huh?"

He noticed the tail, but said nothing about it. He sighed and said, "I think the reason you smell that is because…I'm half pink diamond." He lifted his shirt, allowing me to see an exceptionally terribly cut round piece of yes, pink diamond embedded in his stomach.

I bent down and peered at the rare gem all confused-like. "Who cut this for you, man?"

"Uh…nobody cut it for me, I was kinda born with it…You're not gonna eat it, are you?" He looked actually scared at this question. I looked at him and snickered.

"Of course not! I may look stupid, but this is not a _vore_ fic! What, you think I just eat people?" I screeched amicably.

He looked supremely uncomfortable. "No! I just…"

"Relax. I'm kidding."


End file.
